i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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