Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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