I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
