Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
