I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize