she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
