do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
