xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
