I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
