Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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