she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize