just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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