Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize