Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
