"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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