guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
