It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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