Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
