5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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