I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
