Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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