dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
