He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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