how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
