My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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