I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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