is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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