I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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