drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
