So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
