Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
