People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
