oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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