i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
