So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
