I love black thongs
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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