I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
