Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
