If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
