I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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