I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
COCAINE IS GR8
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
