OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
