I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
