I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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