What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Two words: nipple clamps
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