I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's the barista slut.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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