found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
