it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
