gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
