Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
