I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
