you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
