It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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