You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
