Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
zippers are such a cool invention
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
