If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
