I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
