Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
