awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
