But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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