i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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