Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
