Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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