is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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