So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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