i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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