1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
only you would photoshop your dick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
