The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
