so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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