quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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