btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
