how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
