i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize