I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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